A well-behaved child...

What does this really mean anyway?

We all have a different idea of what well-behaved means, so let's start by looking at the definition of behavior, "the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially towards others."

Misbehavior can quickly overwhelm us as parents and teachers, but it’s important to take a step back. As a Montessori educator and parent, I view a child’s misbehavior through the same lens as myself as an adult.What causes adults to misbehave?

Become a Detective

Much of the time, the root of misbehavior is due to a specific need not being met. For example, if you don’t feel valued at work, you may rebel or at the very least not give it your all. Maybe you find yourself getting into small arguments with your partner when it doesn’t feel like they’re listening or it feels like you’re never a priority.

Well my friends, I've spent years watching, observing, and guiding children, and I can tell you...

Choice. What does choice really mean? I hear parents all the time saying things like:

"If you don't pick up (insert problem) your toys, we're not going to the (insert super fun activity that's been planned for the day) park." 

"Sit down in your seat. Sit down in you seat. Sit down in your seat....(insert any repetitive command)"

"How many times do I have to ask you to put your shoes on before you go outside."

"You've gone far enough. (Child starts crying.) Ok, you can go just a little bit further."

My dear friends, if you ever find yourself saying any of the things above - then "choice" can become your best friend. Choice is defined as, "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities." This warrants a quick conversation about good choices and bad choices. Good choices are going to set you both up for success. Bad choices are not going to serve either of you. So you want to pick your choices carefully (and keep some in your pocket as well).

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