You Can Have it All...Just Not All at Once

How many times do we have to set ourselves up for failure with extreme goal setting before we realize it's not actually helping us at all? Sure, you'll get a lot done in a shorter amount of time. The big issue is the tole it takes on all of your loved ones as they try to be in your life as you tackle such extreme goals. I would guess if you're the type of person that sets these kinds of goals you steadfastly set out to conquer them. Think about your quality of life when you do this. You may think it's ok, especially because once you accomplish your goal it will all be better, or you'll have reached the finish line. I've got news for you, there will always be something else after you've accomplished your big goal, the one that was going to free you from all of your stress, and the one that was going to provide you with everything you've been striving for.

Sometimes in our lives we have epiphany's. Those epiphany's lead us into the next steps of our lives. It may be as simple as being more mindful and present or a total makeover and shift of our perspective. If you're like me you set goals. Goals that seem totally realistic when you set them. The process of accomplishing your goals will be totally inspiring because why would you have set that goal if it wasn't going to be worth it? Then when you look back you realize all you really did was set yourself up for failure.

Throughout my journey in life I've had to overcome a pattern. The pattern: overachiever. It's hard to be a perfectionist and an overachiever and admit you may have a problem. I once set a goal, deconstructed an entire calendar, and started mapping out an aggressive plan for where I wanted to be in one year. All great, right? The part I didn't take into consideration was time. I had a full time job, an 18 month old, and a husband who also liked spending time with me. Through mindfulness, self care, and wanting a happier life I was able to realize that looking at my calendar "vision board" was giving me massive anxiety, a constant stream of self doubt,  and general frustration every time I realized I was nowhere near my goal. I was making progress just not the kind of progress I had hoped for and that I had been able to accomplish in the past. All the while feeling constant conflict about wanting to be present and in the moment with my toddler during the precious hours I actually had available with her.

It hit me like a ton of bricks that I needed to change my expectations and perspective to meet the season of my life. I took down the calendar, mentally adjusted my one year plan to a three year plan, and immediately started feeling relief. I continued making progress on my goal in the time and space that I had for it. I was able to become more present with my life and still make steps in accomplishing my goal. I enjoyed making cookies with my toddler, and reconnecting with my husband. I enjoyed connecting with my friends, I enjoyed the fresh outdoor air, and realized life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. If you want to make it through a marathon you have to slow down, train over long periods of time, and take care of yourself to make it to the end and have any chance of finishing or enjoying the process. 

Although we tend to think of determination, will power, and grit as the ingredients that get us where we want to be; we must pause, ponder, and reflect on the journey and realize, "we can have it all, just not all at once."