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How to Help Them Do It For Themselves

You may have noticed your child's desire to do things for themselves (possibly even repeat the same things over and over and over some more).These moments of opportunity are open windows for learning experiences and for the child to learn "how to" be independent. It's during these times of an open window also referred to as sensitive periods that science has shown the circuitry of the brain is most primed to create new neuro patterns that will aid the child for the rest of their life. If you don't want to take my word for it, check out what Harvard has to say about this topic. This doesn't mean we can never help them again nor does it mean we shouldn't help them to begin with. The opinion here is that the Montessori parent or adult mentoring a child in their self formation should rather guide the child with the appropriate modeling and breaking down of steps so the child can eventually become independent. The tricky part here is resisting the urge to either do it for them or rush through it so fast they don't understand the steps of what you are doing.

Here me out Mama's and caretakers, I know firsthand (not only from a teacher's perspective but a Mom's perspective too) this is not always easy to do! In fact, it's definitely easier as a Montessori teacher because the environment and whole intention of a Montessori school is precisely to breakdown the steps so a child can learn the basics of how to do something, become independent, and then continue to build upon that new foundation.

At home, our lives are often centered around getting from one activity to another, and a variety of ages (siblings and parents) and abilities even greater than the 3 year age span that varies in a Montessori classroom. My challenge to the parent looking to use the Montessori philosophy in their life is to slow down enough to think about the steps you're taking as you model how to do something for your child. An example, could be something as simple as how we model how to water the plants outside. This is an easy place to start because it is less complicated than say modeling to your child how to prepare their own snack. We'll get into that one later....For now, I'll explain how you can model watering the plants step by step.

Yesterday, we finally had the opportunity to get outside and enjoy the beautiful sunshine. Practicing watering is wonderful outside because let's face it, it doesn't really matter if they spill. However, our opinion is that teaching a child how to water the flowers can be a deeper learning experience than just simply watering the flowers. All of a sudden a simple lesson becomes a lesson on feeding plants, why we need plants, and how to conserve water because it's a precious resource that all living things need, not to mention strengthening independence, coordination, and concentration.

My daughter has received a few watering cans since she has actually became coordinated enough to walk and hold the watering can at the same time. My preferred type of watering can for small hands is a small watering can with a handle that extends over the top and down the side, with a long skinny spout that is easy for small hands to hold. Amazon has some great watering cans. We like this one.

First - Name the activity 

"Today we're going to water the plants."

Second - Give the names of the items you'll be using.

"This is a watering can. This is the hose. These are the plants."

Third - Model the lesson.

When we fill the watering can we set the watering can on the ground, and put the hose inside. I'll turn on the water once the hose is inside. (Proceed in this fashion until you're ready to show your little one how to turn the water off and on themselves.) Then we fill the watering  can until it's full and then we turn the water off and take the hose out."

Next you say,

"This is how we carry the watering can." Showing them one hand on the handle and one hand on the spout. The purpose is so they don't end up spilling all of the water on the way to the plants.

"Now we're going to go water the plants." I like to add my own discussion here telling my child or students that plants need water because they are living things and all living things need water. You can also take the time to pre-frame here, "today we're going to fill the watering can up three times and then we'll be finished watering the plants." If you have plenty of time no need to limit the number, fill it up as many times as your child is completing the activity. I choose to stop the activity if it turns into how fast can we fill the watering can up and dump it out. Then we talk about how we don't want to waste water and we can try watering the plants again on another day.

Once you get to the plants show your child how to hold the spout and handle and carefully pour the water out, feeding all of the plants.

Voila! You're first lesson in how to model watering plants. Think of how great this will be when it's winter time and the only plants that need watering are in the house. Your little one will be ready to help with all of their practiced watering skills. Hopefully without too much spilling inside the house. But hey it's only water right. The only thing worse than crying over spilled milk would be crying over spilled water!

 

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Preparing Your Home with Intention. Learn how to foster independence at home.

An independent child is a confident child. A confident child is a happy child. A happy child is far less likely to engage in power struggles + is prepared for academic learning success!